Sometimes Love Hurts Read online



  Sometimes Love Hurts

  Poetry

  By B.L. Johns

  Sometimes Love Hurts

  By B.L. Johns

  Copyright 2016 B.L. Johns

   

 

  “Envy Lust Dishonesty Desire Adulterous Love.

  All the sins of our dreams”

 

  A heart was lost

  held captive to dreams

  full of sweetness.

  woke with a smile

  for days, weeks, months

  a year and more.

  to a day here or there,

  to nothing as before.

  a heart once sated simply

  by smooth tones

  laced with sensuous visions

  transformed into longing

  for a renewed friendship,

  fueled now with joy and love.

  distance created an awkward quiet

  sense of used. yet,

  we are missed

  this known by He

  who allowed our time.

  time to hurt

  until love is renewed again.

  a heart knows

  love cannot transfer

  Nor erase. 

  mature infinite love

  will not submit to complication.

  this true love

  is full of hope

  enough to have overwhelmed

  one feeble soul.

  Love is often forsaken

  by immature hearts.

  we know, 

  pure love overflows from ours.

  There is silence,

  There is lost time

  with much space between.

  nevertheless,

  a heart is lost no more.

  for she is safe now,

  there,

  deep within yours

  ----------------------------------

  Thoughts of you without me

  force overflowing sorrow filled tears

  soaking my warm skin in cold misery

  Worthless visions chased by pain

  as a tear rolls down my chest

  where you once rest your head

  to listen to a strong loving heart.

  Tears rest there now

  on an emptied somber space

  encasing weak flutters of reality.

  fair enough to remind me

  your head may never rest 

  over this heart again.

  --------------------------------------------------

  Reality

  Hope smothered by frustration

  Weak hearts burdened by distance

  Desire a faint mist

  Love has no room to grow

  Silence replaced laughter

  Doubt dictates our time.

  You

  Run farther than You are

  where the earth bends round

  the ocean until

  You are carried out into

  darkness where You can no longer

  see all that You left here.

  Look forward never back

  your stare releases painful

  memories best known as

  forgotten.

  In time your travel round

  may bring you close behind.

  But you will never

  catch me or be by my side

  You will never see me look back

  at the once perfect face

  You wear so well.

  Disgusting

  Smells of

  Death

  of love

  of belief,

  Desire

  and Commitment.

  Welcome

  To a living grave

  where boredom filled days

  waters strong roots of

  Resentment.

  Liars

  eat, drink sleep

  as if all ends well

  All ends well

  For those who end all.

  Liars chose to live

  A lie

  with no choice

  Trapped

  chained

  To nothing more than debt

  FORGIVE AND FORGET

   

  Tell that man that I still live

  For love, life, happiness in our commitment

  In our dream. 

  The dream that died and was revived by

  Not us.  But by our Father who must

  Intend on a bounteous fate.

  Although sometimes we cannot see

  For it is transparent until we release our fears

  And believe that mistakes are painful reminders

  To give ear to each other and believe in the dream

  We spoke of years before

   

  Restless

   

  Still awake

  In sane

  Patiently waiting for reward

  Strife interferes

  Peace is beyond

   

   

  No More

   

  Brown eyes smiling

  Surprise gifts

  Flowers

  Chocolate

  Desire

  Memories bottled in my mind

  Reflecting on faded love

   

   

  Is it time

  Purpose

  Fulfillment for Expressions

  or

   lust for affection from unseen ears

  Attention from above

  Or of those who are nearest

  A voice within

  Guides to the pen, paper or grey keys.

  Where we write and lay

  Confessions, dreams, disappointments

   

  Grief

  I heard my sister, weeping.

  In my mind

  I thought I was dreaming

  I woke and went to my mother’s side

  For a moment I am certain she was whole

  Then she pinched a smile

  And winked and kissed me

  With her last breath

  She whispered love

  My heart would not release her.

  I needed more time.

  But that day she took her last breath

  that day she said goodbye

   

   

   

   

  Looking for answers

  To prayers

  Wanting inspiration

  In life

  Needing love

  Forever

  Fighting adversity

  With vigor

  Believing in God

  His grace

  Knowing he died

  But not in vain.

   

  Life Must Go On

  I woke wearing the fake smile

  Engraved from days past.

  An eerie silence revealed

  my horrid dream now fulfilled.

  The smile swiftly coiled into

  a massive fist of fire that pounded

  through my chest and shattered my soul.

  I sat up and recognized pieces of

  Honesty, trust, intimacy, happiness and love

  scattered all around me. 

  My stomach remained emptied for days

  I longed for nourishment.

  Somehow I had one more tear left

  which began to slither from the slant of my eye.

  I tried to wipe the grief away

  but my hand was heavy. 

  I looked down and noticed I was holding on to responsibility.

  Then I felt a calm whisper of my prayer from hours before.

  Shortly thereafter my carefree child called for me
/>
  I grabbed happiness with

  my empty hand and together with responsibility in the other

  I knew I must learn to deal with my life after infidelity

   

 

   

  Without life love weakens

  After heartbreak faith will mend your soul

  Stop pretending and make it what you want

  Today you can shine

  Every day begins

  Do your heart a favor

  Relive love

  Thoughts

   

  We have a choice to love those who

  Give nothing in return.

  What is an object without an open vessel for you?

  to share your love with me?

  No love from one who you share too much

  With.

  And it does not pay to have such a relationship

  We lose ourselves in others

  Others are lost in themselves. 

  They do not see all you may see in you

  You can take your love and share it with those

  Who admire and respect love?

  You chose to have it shared with those who treasure

  Self-gratification

  No one can blame you. You can blame you.

  You have accepted this life

  you have created for you.

   

  Leave Me, Leave You

   You smile

  Talk and walk with me

  You share your disappointments

  I comfort you.

  Daily kisses when you go and come

  Are meaning less and less

  They have no value when shared

  With the one who does not know the

  Man that I have come to accept and

  Long for relief from.

  I needed the man to be one of self-merit

  With honor and unending commitment to

  This union that has been

  Disregarded and tossed into blunder

  A mimic of your parent

  Me, a replication of mine

  Now what would she do?

  Only once would she have proceeded

  On the second one she would surely release you.

  This is our plight.

  Or is this mine simply?

   

   

   

  You

  Yes. You know it is you

  One who asks God for pardon

  Frequently not truly for His favor

  Your motive is fueled with selfishness

  Your actions are a cheap description of your character

  Deep inside lies guilt that stains your soul

  Running from eternity makes no sense to God

  Continue to play a life

  Dodge reality, fake love

  Your hope, to gratify only you

  You make no sense, fear God.

  Better concern yourself with God

  Or guilt will consume you. Yes. You.

  _____________________________________________________________________

  Pick a day

   chose a moment

  Place a bet

   see where

  Your heart lies

   Many days spent

  Living mysteriously

   avoiding truth

   wishing then wanting more

  When is the silence

   too much to bare

  Today seems to be the day

   to challenge reality

  Tomorrow brings the inevitable

   There is no turning back and

  No wonder of how this will end,

  Just ending is enough.

   Silence,

  a great pleasure

  When need resolves

  Today is pointless

  leave

  Take the years

  with you

  Moments

  wasted

  On an immature mind

  dissipated by a lethal

  Fluid meant to calm a

  Tormented piece of God's

  Creation.

  Leave,

  Connect with another

  Listen. to learn

  Keep happy

  Try to keep happy

  Give meaning

  To a life you

  No longer have

  Find wisdom

  As I will

  Ever Ending Love

  There is no reason for this

  Playing house, me and you.

  Living an inconsistent reality

  drains enthusiasm where there is no desire

  Which one of us will rise above our

  fake incomplete pathetic excuses

  for the love we claimed.

  We THINK we have given trust, love and commitment.

  As time goes by our yearning has withered

  We can release our turmoil by

  Reversing the bond we made many years past

  Our lives are more of me, then you separately

  No point to a union.

  Now we are sole survivors

  Coping

  Yet filled with resentment

  -------------------------------------------------

  Don’t need to be with u

  Wish u could see it too

  Not gonna tell a lie

  U n me r wasted time

  --------------------------------------------------------------

   

  Smothered by affection

  Constant kisses Full of desire

  A sure thing snuffed away by life’s sorrows

  became too much promise

  Impossible to believe in

  forced a burdened heart into stone

  With no one to love outside its of own.

  ----------------------------------------------------------

  Let’s see

  Our reality

  So faint

  Long ago

  Today 

  You lie

  Fake

  Steal hearts

  As pleasure

  We are

  Even now

  Exit quickly

  Bleeding hearts

  Cover wounds

  With love

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  Over it

  When you walk away without turning back

  relief comes too quickly.

  Happiness is silence

  lying next to a spare pillow

  Not missing comfort from our decades

  My soul found permanent peace 

  when you threw out the symbol of our vows 

  once costly, more than we could afford

  is an insignificant piece of debris?

  God whispered...

  Try less regret

  Accept the painful experience

  of a facade of a family

  Help me move on from here God

  Help me stand with You

   

   

   

  Swollen

  Bruised

  Red then blue 

  Black mixed in yellow

  Burning heat

  turns tears into

  mist of pain

  too thick to breathe

  Held inside

  No relief

  love

  beaten

  To dust.

  ==================================================

  U never wanted me

  U didn’t need me

  U didn’t hear me

  U barely called me

  U rarely saw me

  U laid with me

  U held me

  U Kissed me

  U smiled at me

  U laughed with me

  U slept on me

  U caressed
all of me

  U wrote to me

  U said u loved me

  U played me

  U left me

  U lost me

  U didn't deserve me

  U have replaced me

  U didn’t respect me

  U won't own me

  U won't destroy me

  U will yearn for me

  U will cry for me

  U will see me laugh

  At U

  Hearts retain lies 

  Robbed of strong mind

  belief in trust

  in love.

  Replaced with lust 

  Hope for reality 

  cannot change ours

  Past times reveal 

  jealousy is fate 

  Proven by consistent sins

  blamed on nature.

  Untainted hearts are fearless. 

  You have found a scathed one.

  Remember

  Reliving a past

  still drawn to you

  Waited patiently for

  a brave moment called

  Reaching Out

  Your swift response

  reads happiness all over.

  A connection sparks

  as a match would ignite

  No childish games

  Love blooms pure and new

  in old hearts desiring affection

  No secrets

  only dreams called rendezvous

  Lost in us

  Me more than you

 

 

  “True love fails but never dies.”